It's next week!

I don't know about you but it seems like holidays come faster and faster with each passing year. I'll be honest, Christmas snuck up on me. I had prepared beforehand, but awaiting the day has been less anticipation and more "Oh, it's right around the corner." I am honestly grateful for this pleasant recollection of the holiday. Instead of nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing panic that not everything is perfect, I am experiencing (possibly for the first time in my life) a sense of ease. I had decided earlier this year that I was going to treat myself with more grace, and in honor of that pact I have been letting go of my usual desire to fixate on every little detail. Instead, I have decided to adopt a "good enough" mindset with things I would normally obsess over. 

If you can't already tell, I am a "recovering" Type A personality. I say that as in, I don't think I was really meant to be a Type A, at least not naturally. I believe I was always more of a Type B person but it was buried down deep underneath conditioning that required perfection. I was expected to pay attention to details, act with precision, always be punctual, and control variables to the best of my abilities. For someone who was expected to be flawless, holidays became times of stress rather than enjoyment. For Christmas, it was always about finding the best deals, the perfect gifts for everyone, and presenting it to them in appealing wrappers or bags. This was done not days nor weeks in advance, but months ahead of time. Imagine buying Christmas presents in June and that was me.

So, to realize that I am putting in practice the thing that I promised myself is a sort of Christmas present but just for me. It isn't the stereotypical gift, but it is heartwarming in a different way. It is a reclaiming of a piece of myself that I hadn't let rest. I am releasing myself to actually rest this holiday. I won't perform. I won't expect. I won't search. I will simply rest in the day that was meant for me to remember the truly important things in life. For me, this year is all about resets. I am actively pursuing rejuvenation and recovery because that is what is most needed. I remind myself that even Jesus rested and if this holiday is largely about Him then I better make it a priority just as He did.

If some of this resonated with you, know that it took me a long time to even get to this point in my personal journey. It may have even been something I've repeated from years past but never truly achieved. I think the important thing is that I am still genuinely trying to make it happen. The thing is then I was trying to rest, but now I simply am resting. What a world of a difference that differentiation makes. If you are anywhere on this spectrum, I am wishing you not only Happy Holidays but restful ones as well. And as the New Year is right around the corner along with resolutions galore, you can guess what I will be focusing on in the next year☺

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!